“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.” -Benjamin Franklin
The Franklin Effect explains why people like you more when they do you a favor. Allow me to paraphrase here…
Benjamin Franklin once ran against a man who set out to tarnish his reputation. Although, Franklin won, he was determined to recruit this ‘hater’ to his side.
Franklin asked the rival if he could borrow a book from his library. The man was flattered and lent it immediately. Franklin returned it one week later with a thank-you note.
The next time they saw each other, the man was extremely friendly, speaking to Franklin in person for the first time.
Franklin said the man “ever after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends, and our friendship continued to his death.”
When psychologists tested the Ben Franklin effect in 1969, they found the effect verified. Doing someone a favor makes us like that person more. We justify our actions to ourselves that we did them a favor because we liked them. On the flip side, it’s said we do bad things to those we dislike.
Subjects ended up liking another person more when he asked for help completing a project than when he didn’t. However, they didn’t like that person more when the experimenter asked them to help that person.
No way would you do something kind for an unkind person so…they must be kind…You must actually like them, right? Change your perception, drop the ego and put out what you want to receive.
So what does this mean?
First off, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN sent handwritten thank-you notes. We all know his influence and accomplishments. Enough said.
Second, it all has to do with attitudes. Do you serve with an attitude of gratitude? You wonder why volunteering feels good or unpaid interns work so hard? Without an physical outside reward you create an internal one.
How do you turn your haters into your supporters?
Ask people to do you a small favor. Don’t return it immediately.
When people ask you for favors, watch out for feeling better about them.
Donating equals love.
Serving equals love.
Giving equals love.
Loving equals love.
“If you perceive the universe as being a universe of abundance, then it will be. If you think of the universe as one of scarcity, then it will be.” -Milton Glaser
Your Coach – Michael
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